Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Why Do Married Men Try To Bamboozle Bachelors Into Marrying?

Why is it that married guys always try to convince us of why it's so great to be married? None of them can muster any persuasive specifics as to why it's so great, but they just seem to say so out of social programming. I pressed one of my married attorney friends on why it's so great, and he finally came up with, "Being married keeps me out of trouble, single guys get into trouble." I thought it was horrible that that's all he could come up with.

My theory is that married guys are like the fools who fall for the multi-level marketing schemes. Those schemes depend on recruiting new members, but only a precious few are successful participants. Most participants will break their necks to try to convince you to go to a new participant seminar. When they hear a "no," it just illustrates their own foolish decision. The eventual sucker that agrees to be a new participant validates the decision of the former, even though it was a bad one.

Married guys are like that too. To admit that marriage is a bore and a financial drain is too painful and too hurtful to acknowledge, so they come at you with how great it is to be married but are never able to articulate exactly why.

I think it was Fred Reed who said that any young man contemplating marriage should be made to spend 15 minutes in an empty room imagining his future wife 10 years older and 20 pounds heavier. If he still wishes to get married after that image, he should marry.

Fred Reed is right. Women are only temporarily beautiful. Marriage is the universal scam that baits the man into legal obligation to the woman, then switches with aging and the diminishing of female beauty. Married men struggle to come to terms with why they made the marriage decision based on the lunacy of short term attraction.

Just as children tend to lose interest in the little cute puppy dogs when they get older, so do men when their "oh so wonderful" sweetie-pies age less than gracefully.

Married men, if you are so "happy" being married, leave us independent men alone so we can pursue our interests as we darn well please. A rich man never has to convince another to become rich because the value of being rich is self-evident.

1 comment:

  1. As Tom Leykis says, "men age like wine, women age like milk." Men age better than women. Women are only attractive from their late teens to their mid 30's. Men stay attractive much longer (just look at all the women who say Sean Connery is attractive and he will 80 this year.)