Friday, May 14, 2010
Some Truth Bombs For The Aspiring Expatriate
From a fellow expat cohort!
TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 1: Western culture is in a state of decline. Men are treated more and more poorly there and it is very common for perfectly good, well intended, attractive guys to go months or YEARS without having sex or even having a girlfriend there. The society is in a stage of crisis, where birth rates and marriage are at critical lows and men and women simply aren't connecting normally anymore. It is my belief that excessive-wealth, over-independence, and the advanced form of post-feminism (appropriately nicknamed feminazism) we see in the west, and the disastrous affects these have had on male-female dynamics, is a huge factor in the serious issues of low birth rate, high singleness, and tendencies of serial relationships involving heart ache and meaningless sex ongoing in the West.
In a society where women do not need men and are not held accountable, then you have a crisis on your hands. Western women show no appreciation whatsoever for men, while men may pander and cater to a woman's every expectation and it can never be enough, creating these unhealthy and upside down relationship dynamics that end in failure anyway. And it is juts like we all say - being a nice and genuinely well intended guy (just sincerely connecting with woman with the underlying life goals of wanting to get married, respect and love your partner, maybe raise a family) in the west has the exact opposite of the result you would expect. Nice guys are typically considered pathetic or are reacted to with mistrust. It is insane. Your whole life of interacting with women makes no sense - you say something nice, it is a problem. You ask for a number, it is a problem. You tell a woman you are interested in her, you are a weirdo or pathetic.
TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 2: YOU DO NOT NEED "GAME" OUTSIDE OF THE WEST!!!!!" In the places I have been traveling, there is no need for it whatsoever and gorgeous, educated, sweet women have been approaching ME. Players can have their meaninglessness and debauchery and I'll see if I can find something genuine another way. In regards to game and what good it does ya when it is time to be genuine later in the relationship.... Game, especially in a well intended form when used by a nice guy who just wants to be monogamous, get married, etc... is a disaster. The whole concept is a trap, what you get out of it (heartache) is exactly the kind of energy you put into it.
In the past 6 weeks, I have made out with 2 women, had a few of dates, and pulled more numbers and emails than I can remember with NO game at all. I am not into womanizing at all but this has been a really life altering and eye opening experimental time out here as I just begin to unravel the damage and traumas and complexes of the US matrix.
Forget game, just follow through with your goals to move to a place where you don't need it.
TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 3: GET WHILE THE GETTING IS GOOD, because I have found out from some of the woman out here that men by the countless thousands in the US have figured this out. They have come to understand that they can not connect normally with American woman and that they have no value or desirability in relationships. I was told by a woman yesterday from the Mid East/Europe that she deleted her profile on a dating site within days of creating it because she was inundated with messages from AMERICAN men who want to come all the way to the middle east to meet a woman. THIS SHIT IS FOR REAL AND MILLIONS OF MEN FROM WESTERN COUNTRIES HAVE FIGURED IT OUT. As the world globalizes and westernizes and "feminazi"izes, the golden times we are in now will change. On the bright side, globalization is happening so much slower than you might think and I think we still have at least 30 good years to look forward to of American men finding good women outside of the US. Nevertheless, do not waste another day of your life, which is happening right now.
TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 4: YOU CAN MEET WOMEN AT RANDOM ON THE STREET OUT HERE! As soon as you leave North America, interactions with women become NORMAL. You do not need a dating site, a computer, copious alcohol, or a close mutual friend to meet a woman out here! Leave that shit at home, get your ass out of America, and just talk to them. Find a woman you have never seen or talked to before and act on the assumption that they like you and want to know you, and that they would just love to spend time with you and maybe even kiss you. Ask if they would like to go hiking. When they say yes, make normal conversation, don't worry a bit about what you say or ask, because out here, anything that seems normal and sane actually works (unlike in the US). Later, tell them you like them or that they are fun. Then ask if you can kiss them, or just do it when they are looking at your mouth (which they will do if they want to kiss you). It is easier than bread and butter and an average guy from the states can be doing that with a woman in Europe who would be a 10 and unapproachable in the US.
Get out of your American cocoon. Out here, you will be complemented and openly appreciated for being nice, not verbally abused or taken for granted. *****Out here, women will approach and even pursue you!!!!**** They will actually approach you and pursue you and even smile back at you when you smile at them!!! I have had this happen multiple times here. Your mind will be BLOWN trust me. When you tell them that YOU are not interested, they will express genuine appreciation for your honesty! When you go abroad, bring some resumes and some extra money, because trust me, you will not want to go back.
TRUTH BOMB 5: These women are not in it for your worthless American citizenship! Most of them wouldn't want to leave their family and friends! They just want to meet a nice guy, get married, have a family! It is NORMAL here to do just that and NORMAL to say that this is what you want to!!!! Not socially taboo like it is in the states. The states, where people look at you strange or say they want to focus on the their career or their emotionally rewarding hobbies (what they call "passions" in the US) HALLELUJAH. May I be forever done and freed with the broken American madness so help me GOD.
TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 6: Americans have a TERRIBLE reputation outside of the US, especially in almost all of Europe and the Middle East. When you meet people, many predictable and tiresome conversations will come up about stuff you have no interest in and had no involvement in, and that you may have even stood against yourself, usually involving past atrocities, recent occupations, and other deplorable things the US has done. There are some countries, I found out the hard way, that you are better off staying out of entirely, and I am not describing any of the topics that come up or the countries because I don't dare write about that stuff on the internet at all, I have a healthy respect (that means fear) of the unimaginably powerful government and military of the most spiritually ill nation on Earth. Do some research for yourself about which nations have been most adversely affected within the past 60 years and avoid them, because believe me, you WILL be confronted with it in your conversations and interactions with people. When you meet people who stereo type you, ignore them and drop them and move on. Life is too short to waste you energy on the wrong direction, do not give what is sacred to the dogs. Quality, not quantity. Go with the friends and women who do not go down that road in conversations.
California has an incredible reputation, especially San Francisco (I have lived there). Ironic, because I consider it to be the sickest of all American cities and most dysfunctional socially..... the idea of committed monogamous relationships and strong family values and close families there is practically ridiculous.... it is like.... laughable. The cost of living is insane, and the homelessness, mental illness, and humanism in that city is happening on an epic scale like no where else on Earth.... if only these people out in the rest of the world with such romantic notions of it knew that.
Outside of America, you can easily have a meaningful and useful life and complete the pieces of the puzzle that are terribly absent in the US. There is tremendous unmet need. There are poor and starving and oppressed people who you can help, if you are the sort who feels drawn to do so (like myself). There are people by the billions who need to learn English from native speakers so they can participate in the global economy and society. There are women by the hundreds of millions who just want to meet a nice, thoughtful guy (those are rare out here, but a dime a dozen in America) and get married and have a family (and women will actually SAY that out here!!!!!!). You get to choose the kindest and most attractive one out of the many who are interested in you and do just that. Make friends, get involved in the community, learn the language, be patient and persistent, enjoy your life, and don't look back.
TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 7:Long distance relationships, which almost never work beyond the first 2 weeks in the states, are totally common here! Why? Because women are commitment minded and family oriented here. Accountability, commitment, and monogamy are ingrained in their psyche. On that note, you will be AMAZED at what is possible out here that would blow up in your face in the states. Anything sane and healthy and well intended that does not function or backfires in the states is totally normal and flowing here. Milk and honey is not in the US, it is flowing freely in other places that I will not mention because I am too selfish and greedy and I want it all for myself. Go out and find your own milk and honey like I am doing. Push the boundaries of what is feasible, you are entering into a whole different reality out here.
TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 8: A lot of expat guys seem to be about playing, chasing as many woman as possible, having as much sex as possible, hooking up a lot, etc... I say drop that awful stuff from your lives and drop it from this website! It is giving this website a bad name, giving all men who look abroad for relationships a bad name, and giving expats a bad name. Be in this for something good, or stay home and masturbate yourself. By using and hurting women, you are just making it harder for those of us who are out here to get married and live a good life, something that has become sooooo hard to do in America.
I say drop all such stuff and links and content it from this website! That kind of garbage is the reason I never signed up here 3+ years ago when I first discovered the site. With it the way it is now, the site attracts players and assholes and womanizers!!! All of the players will come, and the well intended guys will avoid it. This does a great disservice to the women out her,e the men like me who want to meet and marry one of them some day, and the website itself.
I just wanted to share what I have learned and I am just at the beginning of this journey. I don't have any more time for this site, I am living life now not asking other people how to live it. I suggest you all do the same.
Get your selves out of the US. Don't feel bad about the sorry condition of millions of American women who can not find a man because more and more of them have simply been forced to give up and look elsewhere. You spent 10 years or more trying to give them a chance, and believe me, you were probably giving and working 10X harder at it than these guys out here in the rest of the world ever have. You swam up stream and wasted your time there long enough. You'll be loved and appreciated out side of N America like you wouldn't imagine, just for being thoughtful and considerate of women. You'll be appreciated just for not having 2 or 3 girlfriends at the same time, something that is common for men to do out here, but would get you ostracized and blacklisted in any community in the states. You'll be appreciated just for caring about a woman's needs, or for caring if she has an orgasm in bed, things that men often do not give a shit about outside of the US. Your years of programing in the states, which is totally unnoticed and unappreciated by women there, will make you the nicest and most popular man alive in any city that you go to outside of the US, and believe me , out here, that kindness and thoughtfulness and respect counts a lot and take you far in life out here. Yes, women have priced themselves out of the market in the US, and not just in regards to money, but in regards to matters of the spirit. There is no amount of kindness or thoughtfulness that is enough in the states. You'll still be a "loser" to most of them, and still not up to their standards, which have gone into outer space.
Some day, a kind-hearted, positive and well intended guy from the US will read this and he will think "Who is this angry, crazy bastard and what is his problem?" Well, I'll tell you who he is..... I founded and ran a non-profit in the US doing 100% volunteer work and connecting people in the community. I am into volunteering with kids, elderly, and for the environment, and I am very into climbing, mountaineering, yoga, dancing, guitar, and running/hiking. That means I am Athletic, with a very nice muscular build, fit, and happen to be good looking. I eat well, don't drink, smoke, or use drugs, and I do good things in my daily life. I am sincere and I do good and bear good fruit and yet I am still saying all of these things I have said here - That America is messed up when it comes to men and women connecting.
I want you, whoever the reader is, to do this because guess what: These women need nice men, the world needs children, and you deserve a NORMAL life.
That's why I am here (in Asia at the moment) and that is why I am writing this post. Get off your asses and do something for yourself and may God have grace and mercy for the American woman, who believe me, is finding harder now than we men are especially now that millions of American men are dating or marrying woman from other nations.