New Book: Why America Failed

Morris Berman has been a critic of America's current downward spiral.  In the below link, he talks about it in depth.  I feel he is right on the mark at a time when most Americans are oblivious to what is going on.

http://www.c-spanvideo.org/program/WhyAmer

Some Truth Bombs For The Aspiring Expatriate

From a fellow expat cohort!

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 1: Western culture is in a state of decline. Men are treated more and more poorly there and it is very common for perfectly good, well intended, attractive guys to go months or YEARS without having sex or even having a girlfriend there. The society is in a stage of crisis, where birth rates and marriage are at critical lows and men and women simply aren't connecting normally anymore. It is my belief that excessive-wealth, over-independence, and the advanced form of post-feminism (appropriately nicknamed feminazism) we see in the west, and the disastrous affects these have had on male-female dynamics, is a huge factor in the serious issues of low birth rate, high singleness, and tendencies of serial relationships involving heart ache and meaningless sex ongoing in the West.

In a society where women do not need men and are not held accountable, then you have a crisis on your hands. Western women show no appreciation whatsoever for men, while men may pander and cater to a woman's every expectation and it can never be enough, creating these unhealthy and upside down relationship dynamics that end in failure anyway. And it is juts like we all say - being a nice and genuinely well intended guy (just sincerely connecting with woman with the underlying life goals of wanting to get married, respect and love your partner, maybe raise a family) in the west has the exact opposite of the result you would expect. Nice guys are typically considered pathetic or are reacted to with mistrust. It is insane. Your whole life of interacting with women makes no sense - you say something nice, it is a problem. You ask for a number, it is a problem. You tell a woman you are interested in her, you are a weirdo or pathetic.


TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 2: YOU DO NOT NEED "GAME" OUTSIDE OF THE WEST!!!!!" In the places I have been traveling, there is no need for it whatsoever and gorgeous, educated, sweet women have been approaching ME. Players can have their meaninglessness and debauchery and I'll see if I can find something genuine another way. In regards to game and what good it does ya when it is time to be genuine later in the relationship.... Game, especially in a well intended form when used by a nice guy who just wants to be monogamous, get married, etc... is a disaster. The whole concept is a trap, what you get out of it (heartache) is exactly the kind of energy you put into it.

In the past 6 weeks, I have made out with 2 women, had a few of dates, and pulled more numbers and emails than I can remember with NO game at all. I am not into womanizing at all but this has been a really life altering and eye opening experimental time out here as I just begin to unravel the damage and traumas and complexes of the US matrix.
Forget game, just follow through with your goals to move to a place where you don't need it.

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 3: GET WHILE THE GETTING IS GOOD, because I have found out from some of the woman out here that men by the countless thousands in the US have figured this out. They have come to understand that they can not connect normally with American woman and that they have no value or desirability in relationships. I was told by a woman yesterday from the Mid East/Europe that she deleted her profile on a dating site within days of creating it because she was inundated with messages from AMERICAN men who want to come all the way to the middle east to meet a woman. THIS SHIT IS FOR REAL AND MILLIONS OF MEN FROM WESTERN COUNTRIES HAVE FIGURED IT OUT. As the world globalizes and westernizes and "feminazi"izes, the golden times we are in now will change. On the bright side, globalization is happening so much slower than you might think and I think we still have at least 30 good years to look forward to of American men finding good women outside of the US. Nevertheless, do not waste another day of your life, which is happening right now.

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 4: YOU CAN MEET WOMEN AT RANDOM ON THE STREET OUT HERE! As soon as you leave North America, interactions with women become NORMAL. You do not need a dating site, a computer, copious alcohol, or a close mutual friend to meet a woman out here! Leave that shit at home, get your ass out of America, and just talk to them. Find a woman you have never seen or talked to before and act on the assumption that they like you and want to know you, and that they would just love to spend time with you and maybe even kiss you. Ask if they would like to go hiking. When they say yes, make normal conversation, don't worry a bit about what you say or ask, because out here, anything that seems normal and sane actually works (unlike in the US). Later, tell them you like them or that they are fun. Then ask if you can kiss them, or just do it when they are looking at your mouth (which they will do if they want to kiss you). It is easier than bread and butter and an average guy from the states can be doing that with a woman in Europe who would be a 10 and unapproachable in the US.

Get out of your American cocoon. Out here, you will be complemented and openly appreciated for being nice, not verbally abused or taken for granted. *****Out here, women will approach and even pursue you!!!!**** They will actually approach you and pursue you and even smile back at you when you smile at them!!! I have had this happen multiple times here. Your mind will be BLOWN trust me. When you tell them that YOU are not interested, they will express genuine appreciation for your honesty! When you go abroad, bring some resumes and some extra money, because trust me, you will not want to go back.

TRUTH BOMB 5: These women are not in it for your worthless American citizenship! Most of them wouldn't want to leave their family and friends! They just want to meet a nice guy, get married, have a family! It is NORMAL here to do just that and NORMAL to say that this is what you want to!!!! Not socially taboo like it is in the states. The states, where people look at you strange or say they want to focus on the their career or their emotionally rewarding hobbies (what they call "passions" in the US) HALLELUJAH. May I be forever done and freed with the broken American madness so help me GOD.

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 6: Americans have a TERRIBLE reputation outside of the US, especially in almost all of Europe and the Middle East. When you meet people, many predictable and tiresome conversations will come up about stuff you have no interest in and had no involvement in, and that you may have even stood against yourself, usually involving past atrocities, recent occupations, and other deplorable things the US has done. There are some countries, I found out the hard way, that you are better off staying out of entirely, and I am not describing any of the topics that come up or the countries because I don't dare write about that stuff on the internet at all, I have a healthy respect (that means fear) of the unimaginably powerful government and military of the most spiritually ill nation on Earth. Do some research for yourself about which nations have been most adversely affected within the past 60 years and avoid them, because believe me, you WILL be confronted with it in your conversations and interactions with people. When you meet people who stereo type you, ignore them and drop them and move on. Life is too short to waste you energy on the wrong direction, do not give what is sacred to the dogs. Quality, not quantity. Go with the friends and women who do not go down that road in conversations.

Exception:
California has an incredible reputation, especially San Francisco (I have lived there). Ironic, because I consider it to be the sickest of all American cities and most dysfunctional socially..... the idea of committed monogamous relationships and strong family values and close families there is practically ridiculous.... it is like.... laughable. The cost of living is insane, and the homelessness, mental illness, and humanism in that city is happening on an epic scale like no where else on Earth.... if only these people out in the rest of the world with such romantic notions of it knew that.

Outside of America, you can easily have a meaningful and useful life and complete the pieces of the puzzle that are terribly absent in the US. There is tremendous unmet need. There are poor and starving and oppressed people who you can help, if you are the sort who feels drawn to do so (like myself). There are people by the billions who need to learn English from native speakers so they can participate in the global economy and society. There are women by the hundreds of millions who just want to meet a nice, thoughtful guy (those are rare out here, but a dime a dozen in America) and get married and have a family (and women will actually SAY that out here!!!!!!). You get to choose the kindest and most attractive one out of the many who are interested in you and do just that. Make friends, get involved in the community, learn the language, be patient and persistent, enjoy your life, and don't look back.

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 7:Long distance relationships, which almost never work beyond the first 2 weeks in the states, are totally common here! Why? Because women are commitment minded and family oriented here. Accountability, commitment, and monogamy are ingrained in their psyche. On that note, you will be AMAZED at what is possible out here that would blow up in your face in the states. Anything sane and healthy and well intended that does not function or backfires in the states is totally normal and flowing here. Milk and honey is not in the US, it is flowing freely in other places that I will not mention because I am too selfish and greedy and I want it all for myself. Go out and find your own milk and honey like I am doing. Push the boundaries of what is feasible, you are entering into a whole different reality out here.

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 8: A lot of expat guys seem to be about playing, chasing as many woman as possible, having as much sex as possible, hooking up a lot, etc... I say drop that awful stuff from your lives and drop it from this website! It is giving this website a bad name, giving all men who look abroad for relationships a bad name, and giving expats a bad name. Be in this for something good, or stay home and masturbate yourself. By using and hurting women, you are just making it harder for those of us who are out here to get married and live a good life, something that has become sooooo hard to do in America.

I say drop all such stuff and links and content it from this website! That kind of garbage is the reason I never signed up here 3+ years ago when I first discovered the site. With it the way it is now, the site attracts players and assholes and womanizers!!! All of the players will come, and the well intended guys will avoid it. This does a great disservice to the women out her,e the men like me who want to meet and marry one of them some day, and the website itself.

I just wanted to share what I have learned and I am just at the beginning of this journey. I don't have any more time for this site, I am living life now not asking other people how to live it. I suggest you all do the same.

Get your selves out of the US. Don't feel bad about the sorry condition of millions of American women who can not find a man because more and more of them have simply been forced to give up and look elsewhere. You spent 10 years or more trying to give them a chance, and believe me, you were probably giving and working 10X harder at it than these guys out here in the rest of the world ever have. You swam up stream and wasted your time there long enough. You'll be loved and appreciated out side of N America like you wouldn't imagine, just for being thoughtful and considerate of women. You'll be appreciated just for not having 2 or 3 girlfriends at the same time, something that is common for men to do out here, but would get you ostracized and blacklisted in any community in the states. You'll be appreciated just for caring about a woman's needs, or for caring if she has an orgasm in bed, things that men often do not give a shit about outside of the US. Your years of programing in the states, which is totally unnoticed and unappreciated by women there, will make you the nicest and most popular man alive in any city that you go to outside of the US, and believe me , out here, that kindness and thoughtfulness and respect counts a lot and take you far in life out here. Yes, women have priced themselves out of the market in the US, and not just in regards to money, but in regards to matters of the spirit. There is no amount of kindness or thoughtfulness that is enough in the states. You'll still be a "loser" to most of them, and still not up to their standards, which have gone into outer space.


Some day, a kind-hearted, positive and well intended guy from the US will read this and he will think "Who is this angry, crazy bastard and what is his problem?" Well, I'll tell you who he is..... I founded and ran a non-profit in the US doing 100% volunteer work and connecting people in the community. I am into volunteering with kids, elderly, and for the environment, and I am very into climbing, mountaineering, yoga, dancing, guitar, and running/hiking. That means I am Athletic, with a very nice muscular build, fit, and happen to be good looking. I eat well, don't drink, smoke, or use drugs, and I do good things in my daily life. I am sincere and I do good and bear good fruit and yet I am still saying all of these things I have said here - That America is messed up when it comes to men and women connecting.

I want you, whoever the reader is, to do this because guess what: These women need nice men, the world needs children, and you deserve a NORMAL life.
That's why I am here (in Asia at the moment) and that is why I am writing this post. Get off your asses and do something for yourself and may God have grace and mercy for the American woman, who believe me, is finding harder now than we men are especially now that millions of American men are dating or marrying woman from other nations.

The "Ego Epidemic" of Modern Western Women

Us women are more egocentric and narcissistic than we ever used to be, according to extensive research by two leading psychologists.

More of us have huge expectations of ourselves, our lives and everyone in them. We think the universe resolves around us, with a deluded sense of our own fabulousness, and believe we are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than we actually are.

We have trouble accepting criticism and extending empathy because we are so preoccupied with ourselves.

Am I making you angry by telling you this? It figures. Narcissistic or egotistical women do have an overwhelming sense of entitlement and arrogance.

Of course, I joke, but researchers say there is growing evidence of an epidemic of ego-itis everywhere.

Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are 'special'.

Psychology professors Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell analysed studies on 37,000 college students in 2006.

In a survey, 30 per cent of them said they believed they should get good grades simply for turning up.

And it's not just about how intelligent they think they are. In the workplace, in friendships, even in motherhood, the pervading culture seems to have become one of competitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship.

But the sphere in which the signs of self-obsession are perhaps most obvious, and the consequences most immediately felt, is the dating one.

In a recent magazine article, four women in their late 20s and 30s shared their thoughts about why they were still single. A 39-year-old beauty director claimed to be too independent for a relationship.

A 38-year-old music agent attributed her single status to the fact she was an alpha female - independent, feisty, strong-minded, high-achieving and intimidating.

She pointed out that she owned a gorgeous flat with gorgeous things in it, had a nice car, was a member of a fancy gym and wore designer dresses. 'I do what I like, when I like,' she said.

She'd been told, and appears to believe, that she's too successful and too well-educated for most men.

The third woman, a 30-year- old arts writer and curator, has been having too much fun to settle down.

Another, a 29-year-old, said she was too picky. She was looking for a guy who is (just) tall enough. And (just about) good-looking enough (but not too good-looking so that she'd play second fiddle).

He needs to be successful, solvent and driven. He must also be long on genuinely good jokes, with a decent sideline in bad ones that only she finds funny.

He needs to 'speak good restaurant', to have no special dietary requirements and to always be discerning without ever being fussy.

He needs to be clever without ever making her feel stupid. He needs to 'get' but not 'know' fashion...and so the list went on.

She concluded that she would rather eat wasps than share her Sunday with anyone who fails to measure up to her idea of Mr Perfect.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with having high expectations. But being delusional and having a totally unrealistic blueprint are an altogether different matter.

And they often go hand in hand with acute ego-itis. As Margot Medhurt knows only too well.

She is the founder of Yours Sincerely, an Edinburgh-based personal dating and introduction agency for professionals. She has almost 30 years' experience in the industry and has noticed a significant rise in this phenomenon in recent years.

'It used to be that most women who joined a dating agency had a pretty good idea of where they stood in the eligibility stakes,' she said. 'But in the past few years, I've noticed that there are a significant number of women who don't.

'They tend to be in their 30s, and there is a wide discrepancy between how they perceive themselves and how others see them.

'They are often very plain, but see themselves as being absolutely fabulous, exceptional people.

'They invariably reject every guy's profile I send them. But if a guy rejects their profile, there is all hell to pay. There is disbelief. They are really saying: "I'm so fabulous. How dare he turn me down?"

'In the past few years, I've noticed a real sense of entitlement among this small group of women. The idea that a guy might not find them as amazing as they find themselves doesn't enter their head.

'They often become indignant and angry towards me, demanding to know why a guy dared to turn them down. Most people simply accept the facts of the dating game: some people will find you attractive and others won't, in the same way that you'll be drawn to some but not others.

'These women, however, are unable to get their heads around the fact that the rest of the world might not share the distorted, inflated view they have of themselves.'

She said she had a eureka moment when she read a recent article about the rise in narcissism among women.

According to the American research, there has been a 67 per cent increase in it over the past two decades, mainly among women.

An estimated ten per cent of the population suffers from narcissism as a full-blown personality disorder.

The symptoms include: a grandiose sense of self-importance; the belief that he or she is special or unique and in some way better - either intellectually or physically - than others; a requirement for excessive admiration; a sense of entitlement, whether to fame, fortune, success and happiness or simply to special treatment; enviousness of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her; an inability to empathise; an inability to admit a mistake; and haughty behaviour or attitude.

What researchers have also identified, and are far more worried about, is what has been described as 'normal' narcissism - a cultural shift that has seen even non-narcissistic people seduced by the emphasis on material wealth, physical appearance and celebrity worship.

The researchers believe our culture brings out narcissistic behaviour in almost all of us.

They blame the internet (where 'fame' is a click away), reality television (where the lure of fame without talent is most prevalent), easy credit (which enables people to buy far beyond their ability to pay), celebrity worship, our highly consumerist, competitive and individualistic society, and a generation of indulgent parents who have raised their children to think they're special, amazing and perfect.

According to Twenge, this focus on self-admiration has caused a cultural flight from reality to the land of grandiose fantasy.

We have phony rich people (who actually have massive mortgages and piles of debt), phony beauty (via plastic surgery), phony celebrities (via reality TV and YouTube), phony genius students (with grade inflation) and phony friends (with the social networking explosion).

'I had noticed this trend, but wasn't really sure what it was all about,' says Margaret Medhurt.

'However, when I read that article and thought about the unrealistic expectations and sense of entitlement among some of the women, it really struck a chord.

'One of the cases that brought it home to me involved a 38-year-old businesswoman.

'I knew there were going to be problems right away. As soon as someone joins the agency, we get things moving very quickly - but this wasn't quick enough for this woman.

'She wanted a date immediately. The first man I sent her profile to declined an introduction and she was extremely cross. She couldn't accept it and she couldn't even be polite about it.

'In three weeks, three men turned her down. I explained that it takes time to meet someone but she just got angrier and angrier. She was demanding to know why these guys did this. I was trying to get the balance right - between being honest with her and being tactful.

'I think, ultimately, she had a very flawed perception of herself. And she almost couldn't bear that it was being challenged. It was as if she couldn't deal with the fact that some guys didn't think she was amazing - and she left.'

Men, traditionally regarded as the more self-centred of the species and the rogues of the mating game, are left scratching their heads and pondering Freud's famous question: what do women want?

David Baxter (not his real name) is a 40-year-old management consultant. Previously married for nine years, he joined a dating agency in the summer.

He says he's not perfect, but is told he's an eligible and pleasant guy with a lot to offer.

'I've had three successive dates recently with ladies in the late 30s to early 40s age bracket that have left me dumbfounded,' he said.

'I've never come across such massive egos, such arrogance and lack of basic courtesy.

'It was as if these particular dates were a forum for them to tell me how exceptional they were. One told me repeatedly how many young guys at the gym asked her out; another was very artificial.

'You sensed that they absolutely worshipped themselves, though none of them was drop-dead gorgeous or had amazing personalities, jobs or anything else to set them apart and elevate themselves into some superior position.

'I also thought it was quite telling that none of them had ever been married, engaged or had recently - or perhaps ever - been in a long-term relationship.

'I got the feeling that these women were living in a Sex And The City-inspired fantasy world. I also sensed that nobody would ever be good enough for them.

'They seem to be looking for something that doesn't exist: Mr Perfect, or perhaps some larger-than-life, dashingly handsome and unattainable character such as that portrayed by Mr Big. Nothing else will do.'

Despite his recent experience, David still considers himself lucky.

'I'm still positive about the whole thing, but I have friends who are not so optimistic and it's evident that encounters with these sort of women seriously erode their self-confidence, which is a real shame. There are a lot of genuine, decent guys out there who are getting a rough deal.'

Neil Hay is a 32-year-old former professional golfer-turned-financial consultant who lives on the outskirts of Edinburgh.

After taking some time out following the death of his mother, he joined a dating agency almost a year ago.

'It's made me terribly cynical, not just about the way women are, but also about what on earth it is that they are looking for in a guy,' he said.

'Of course, we all have standards and preferences. There's nothing wrong with that. But most of us are also realistic. We know that Cheryl Cole is out of our league.

'I had been hoping to meet someone who was quite nice-looking, with a good personality, someone to go for dinner and to the cinema and have a decent conversation with. But I'm left feeling that this isn't what women are looking for.

'It's as if they want to be swept off their feet right from the first date, as if they're waiting for someone like Brad Pitt or George Clooney. They're not interested in a regular, normal, decent guy. That's not good enough for them.

'I spent three hours on a date with one woman. I thought we got on brilliantly, but then she said she didn't want to meet again.

'This has happened a few times. It makes me think that if you don't live up to their perfect fantasy, then that's it. It's game over before you've even had any chance to begin to get to know each other.

'It does dent your confidence. I'm left thinking either that there's something wrong with me or that I'll just never be whatever it is that these women are looking for.

'I know there are a lot of single women who say things like they're too independent, too feisty, too confident or too successful for men. Or they claim that men are intimidated by strong, intelligent and independent women.

'But this is simply not the case. I think they just tell themselves this. It's a way of rationalising things. It's as if it's easier for them to believe their own myths than to face reality - that they are completely ordinary.'This brilliant article was penned by Lucy Taylor, accessible with this link.

"Some" Americans Abroad

Yesterday I had some American redneck approach me as if we are buddies. Apparently someone tipped him off that I too am an American.

What never ceases to amaze me overseas is that the same type of American who would have nothing to do with me in the US, suddenly behaves like a kindred spirit overseas. Not a chance! I don't gravitate toward rednecks in the states and I won't do it abroad. Sure, there is something to be said for seeing a fellow American in a faraway land. But don't come off like we are old buds when in the states we would consider each other a virtual menace.

Might I be a little harsh to a redneck's overture of friendliness? Perhaps, but consistency is a virtue that I respect. Furthermore, I have often sensed the underlying class tensions in my interactions with people of this ilk, friendly overtures notwithstanding.

So if you see me in another country. Don't come up to chat unless you would be inclined to do the same in the US!

What Is Behind the Meltdown of Asian American Men?

The Korean Virgina Tech gunman, the Filipino recently arrested by the FBI for racist death threats, and now, Jiverly Voong, opened fire on an Immigration Service Center in upstate NY. This is just the latest in a string of incidents where Asian men have unleashed murderous wrath on innocent people.

Let me begin by saying this is not an anti-Asian American rant. In fact, I acknowledge that the vast majority of Asian American men are hard-working, law-abiding, and upstanding citizens. But what is afoot here? I believe that some Asian men increasingly view this society as unjust and unfair to them who try to do all the right things.

Men's rights advocate, Winston Wu, is legendary for his diatribes against the social isolation to which American society relegates all but a few Asian men. They are expected to live up to unrealistic "positive" stereotypes, shunned by most America women as poorly endowed, and left on the sidelines unless they are needed for calculus advice or engineering services.

While none of the above justifies lashing out in violence, I believe the plight of Asian male isolation is at the root of this trend.

To my Asian brothers, the "American Dream" that your parents spoke so highly of is an illusion meant to dupe us into consumerism and wage slavery. The American women that reject you despite your years of hard work and upright living are not women as much as they are feminists. Do not resort to violence and suicide to air your grievances. Move abroad, remain unmarried, seek foreign women who would love you in ways and for reasons American women could never love you.

We all feel what you guys feel too, but violence will only serve to punish innocent people and vilify the legions of good men among you.

Constructively take charge of your life. Move abroad and free yourself of the delusion of America being the best that life has to offer.

Expat Field Report: Singapore

This week I'm visiting Singapore. What strikes me first is the modernity and development of this place. These are people that take pride in their small country and it shows.

The most striking difference is the Singaporean women. Most are thin, cheerful, courteous gems that are all too hospitable to the obvious foreigner that is me. I see a few American women walking around as if they are in the wrong galaxy. They are rushed, frumpy, sour-faced, and all but ignored by the local men.

American women tend to believe the Hollywood hype, that they are among the most desirable women in the world. This is a media-perpetuated myth. In actuality, they are among the most reviled and ridiculed yet they would not know it.

Thank you Singapore for showing me society that is dignified, educated, and respect-worthy. I will enjoy the remainder of my stay for sure.

America, Where Politeness Is Considered Weakness.

I'm currently visiting Australia, and I spend a considerable amount of time in Europe. What strikes me most when visiting other countries is how politeness is still of social value. Yes, all countries have their share of rude troglodytes, but America seems to take it to a new level.

I believe the media plays a role in this behavior. All one has to do is see Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Neil Cavuto, or some other rambunctious host cutting off his or her guests, shouting platitudes. And by no means is this an affliction of conservative types. Just watch Gloria Allred, Al Sharpton, or some other leftist in action.

One thing I like about Obama, and I don't like several things about him, is that he is a polite, polished and well-spoken American who is respect worthy. Maybe he can bring the concept of interpersonal civility back to the country that I love, but left.