Manginas Now Accepting Wives' Last Names And "MENgagement Rings!"

If your man pops the question this Valentine’s Day, or if you’re one of the 2 million people who will get hitched this year, listen up– some of the traditonal aspects of marriage are starting to change.
First we told you how a growing number of men starting to wear “mangagement rings” (male engagement rings.) Now we’ve learned there’s a new trend on the rise: Men in the US are taking their wife’s last name, or hyphenating it with their own.

Taking the Name Change Plunge
Mark Tyler is “man enough” to admit to GalTime that he actually did all of the above. Mark wore a mangagement ring during his engagement, and soon after he and his bride Carol Tyler got married last January, Mark took his wife’s last name. He started the ceremony as Mark Harper and ended it as Mark Tyler. The minister even announced, “Here come the Tylers” as they made their way down the aisle.

Mark says he’s proud. “Shortly before the wedding I decided to make the change. She (Carol) was stunned. Actually, she asked me to reconsider, that it was cool with her for me not to change. But I told her it was too late, and then she said GREAT!”

The couple started talking about it before they got married and decided it was important they both have the same last name so their children would as well.  According to Mark, Carol said, “If we all have the same last name, why can’t it be mine?”

She said it as a joke, but I told her that I’d think about it seriously. So I did. And then I found myself in the position of the typical female. Hyphenate? Too bulky. Keep my name? But then we’d have different family names. Take her name? Yowww. Big blow to the male ego.”

In the end Mark says he thought about Carol’s career. “She is well established in her career and I am not. Our plan is for her to be the primary breadwinner and me to be the primary parent. So, “Carol Tyler” is a well established professional while “Carol Harper” is who? I don’t have the same dynamic going from Harper to Tyler.”

Gayle Brandeis and her husband did the name swap for the same reasons when they got married: Kids and career. “It is a second marriage for both of us. I had kept my name with my first marriage as well, and my kids from my first marriage have long hyphenated last names. I was pregnant when my current husband and I married, and we liked the idea of everyone in the family having the same last name. I had already established myself as an author with my name, and he felt no particular loyalty to his father’s last name, so now my hudband is a Brandeis, as is our son.”

How Many Are Doing The Reverse Name Swap?
The Centers for Disease Control and the Social Security Administration says it doesn’t track these types of name swaps. But an up and coming company called Hitchswitch, which offers newlyweds “a one stop shopping name changing service for a fee” has some interesting numbers.

CEO Jake Wolff says they’ve helped about two thousand couples change their names since June 2011– and 5 percent of those clients have been men. Out of that five percent about three percent of men take their wife’s last name and the remaining two percent create a hybrid or hyphenate their last name.
Jake says he’s seeing this trend increase. “Even though Q1 of 2012 has just started, we have seen an increase in the number of males taking a hybrid name.”

Turning in the Man Card?

Jake polled his male name changing clients for GalTime on why they went against the name grain and they all told him, “They felt weird taking their spouse’s name not because they had anything against using the name of their wife, but because they felt they would be “de-masculized” (is that even a word?!), and teased (seriously) by their friends and family who heard that the groom took the name of their wife. Most of our clients fall in the 22 to 35 age range, so I guess the grooms still had some angst.”

Mark says when he told people about his untraditional name change a majority of the responses were actually negative. “As for the man card issue, I get it. I guess that in many ways I have turned in my man card. Of course, I treat the whole man card thing as a joke in the first place. It’s a satirical term that, to me, describes a physically grown man who has the mind and interests of an adolescent.”

Happily Ever After
The Tylers and the Brandeis’ all report they’re still very happy with their choices. Their kids have the same last name, and all is well in nameville. Mark gushes, “I’m so proud to be a Tyler. My wife absolutely rocks and our family is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Jake Brandeis sums it all up quite nicely from his informal customer poll of men who handed in their man card with class. “The grooms told me that they did this because the couple was starting a new life together, and their new name was their new identity. They saw it as a great compromise.”

A Man Is An Unmitigated Fool To Marry

By now most are aware that Jennifer Lopez's and Mark Anthony's marriage is ending. Given the fact that Jennifer is a known kook when it comes to her love life, few men acknowledge the fact that marriage in general is a losing proposition.

In our current recessionary economy, why would a man want to take on a wife and kids to while most jobs teeter on the edge of insecurity? Why would a man want to sign up for a second full time job when most employed men already work more than any men in the world. Why would a man want to participate in the great "buying things" spree that is marriage so that he is a debt slave all of his life?

I know that there are many reasons for men to still willingly slide down the marriage road to ruin in spite of all the evidence staring them in the face.
Parents from a pre-feminist era are culprits that inculcate their sons with the marriage=success mentality.

Hollywood imagery is the next reason. Hollywood never shows the wife gaining weight and smelling up the bathroom after unloading a pile of bowel movement matter. Hollywood never shows the wife's bad breath, her hysterics, her spendthrift habits, or anything else but mythical bliss.

But the primary culprits are women themselves. Anyone with half a brain knows that when a man is in love or infatuated with a women, his normal logical thought process is suspended. Have you ever listened to the lyrics to "When A Man Loves A Woman?" It is women that bamboozle most men at their most vulnerable to their detriment.

It is high time for men to wake up to this marriage scam that dooms them to misery beyond reversal. On the other hand, the Mark Anthony's of the world are superb examples to the younger men of what NOT to do.

Some Truth Bombs For The Aspiring Expatriate

From a fellow expat cohort!

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 1: Western culture is in a state of decline. Men are treated more and more poorly there and it is very common for perfectly good, well intended, attractive guys to go months or YEARS without having sex or even having a girlfriend there. The society is in a stage of crisis, where birth rates and marriage are at critical lows and men and women simply aren't connecting normally anymore. It is my belief that excessive-wealth, over-independence, and the advanced form of post-feminism (appropriately nicknamed feminazism) we see in the west, and the disastrous affects these have had on male-female dynamics, is a huge factor in the serious issues of low birth rate, high singleness, and tendencies of serial relationships involving heart ache and meaningless sex ongoing in the West.

In a society where women do not need men and are not held accountable, then you have a crisis on your hands. Western women show no appreciation whatsoever for men, while men may pander and cater to a woman's every expectation and it can never be enough, creating these unhealthy and upside down relationship dynamics that end in failure anyway. And it is juts like we all say - being a nice and genuinely well intended guy (just sincerely connecting with woman with the underlying life goals of wanting to get married, respect and love your partner, maybe raise a family) in the west has the exact opposite of the result you would expect. Nice guys are typically considered pathetic or are reacted to with mistrust. It is insane. Your whole life of interacting with women makes no sense - you say something nice, it is a problem. You ask for a number, it is a problem. You tell a woman you are interested in her, you are a weirdo or pathetic.


TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 2: YOU DO NOT NEED "GAME" OUTSIDE OF THE WEST!!!!!" In the places I have been traveling, there is no need for it whatsoever and gorgeous, educated, sweet women have been approaching ME. Players can have their meaninglessness and debauchery and I'll see if I can find something genuine another way. In regards to game and what good it does ya when it is time to be genuine later in the relationship.... Game, especially in a well intended form when used by a nice guy who just wants to be monogamous, get married, etc... is a disaster. The whole concept is a trap, what you get out of it (heartache) is exactly the kind of energy you put into it.

In the past 6 weeks, I have made out with 2 women, had a few of dates, and pulled more numbers and emails than I can remember with NO game at all. I am not into womanizing at all but this has been a really life altering and eye opening experimental time out here as I just begin to unravel the damage and traumas and complexes of the US matrix.
Forget game, just follow through with your goals to move to a place where you don't need it.

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 3: GET WHILE THE GETTING IS GOOD, because I have found out from some of the woman out here that men by the countless thousands in the US have figured this out. They have come to understand that they can not connect normally with American woman and that they have no value or desirability in relationships. I was told by a woman yesterday from the Mid East/Europe that she deleted her profile on a dating site within days of creating it because she was inundated with messages from AMERICAN men who want to come all the way to the middle east to meet a woman. THIS SHIT IS FOR REAL AND MILLIONS OF MEN FROM WESTERN COUNTRIES HAVE FIGURED IT OUT. As the world globalizes and westernizes and "feminazi"izes, the golden times we are in now will change. On the bright side, globalization is happening so much slower than you might think and I think we still have at least 30 good years to look forward to of American men finding good women outside of the US. Nevertheless, do not waste another day of your life, which is happening right now.

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 4: YOU CAN MEET WOMEN AT RANDOM ON THE STREET OUT HERE! As soon as you leave North America, interactions with women become NORMAL. You do not need a dating site, a computer, copious alcohol, or a close mutual friend to meet a woman out here! Leave that shit at home, get your ass out of America, and just talk to them. Find a woman you have never seen or talked to before and act on the assumption that they like you and want to know you, and that they would just love to spend time with you and maybe even kiss you. Ask if they would like to go hiking. When they say yes, make normal conversation, don't worry a bit about what you say or ask, because out here, anything that seems normal and sane actually works (unlike in the US). Later, tell them you like them or that they are fun. Then ask if you can kiss them, or just do it when they are looking at your mouth (which they will do if they want to kiss you). It is easier than bread and butter and an average guy from the states can be doing that with a woman in Europe who would be a 10 and unapproachable in the US.

Get out of your American cocoon. Out here, you will be complemented and openly appreciated for being nice, not verbally abused or taken for granted. *****Out here, women will approach and even pursue you!!!!**** They will actually approach you and pursue you and even smile back at you when you smile at them!!! I have had this happen multiple times here. Your mind will be BLOWN trust me. When you tell them that YOU are not interested, they will express genuine appreciation for your honesty! When you go abroad, bring some resumes and some extra money, because trust me, you will not want to go back.

TRUTH BOMB 5: These women are not in it for your worthless American citizenship! Most of them wouldn't want to leave their family and friends! They just want to meet a nice guy, get married, have a family! It is NORMAL here to do just that and NORMAL to say that this is what you want to!!!! Not socially taboo like it is in the states. The states, where people look at you strange or say they want to focus on the their career or their emotionally rewarding hobbies (what they call "passions" in the US) HALLELUJAH. May I be forever done and freed with the broken American madness so help me GOD.

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 6: Americans have a TERRIBLE reputation outside of the US, especially in almost all of Europe and the Middle East. When you meet people, many predictable and tiresome conversations will come up about stuff you have no interest in and had no involvement in, and that you may have even stood against yourself, usually involving past atrocities, recent occupations, and other deplorable things the US has done. There are some countries, I found out the hard way, that you are better off staying out of entirely, and I am not describing any of the topics that come up or the countries because I don't dare write about that stuff on the internet at all, I have a healthy respect (that means fear) of the unimaginably powerful government and military of the most spiritually ill nation on Earth. Do some research for yourself about which nations have been most adversely affected within the past 60 years and avoid them, because believe me, you WILL be confronted with it in your conversations and interactions with people. When you meet people who stereo type you, ignore them and drop them and move on. Life is too short to waste you energy on the wrong direction, do not give what is sacred to the dogs. Quality, not quantity. Go with the friends and women who do not go down that road in conversations.

Exception:
California has an incredible reputation, especially San Francisco (I have lived there). Ironic, because I consider it to be the sickest of all American cities and most dysfunctional socially..... the idea of committed monogamous relationships and strong family values and close families there is practically ridiculous.... it is like.... laughable. The cost of living is insane, and the homelessness, mental illness, and humanism in that city is happening on an epic scale like no where else on Earth.... if only these people out in the rest of the world with such romantic notions of it knew that.

Outside of America, you can easily have a meaningful and useful life and complete the pieces of the puzzle that are terribly absent in the US. There is tremendous unmet need. There are poor and starving and oppressed people who you can help, if you are the sort who feels drawn to do so (like myself). There are people by the billions who need to learn English from native speakers so they can participate in the global economy and society. There are women by the hundreds of millions who just want to meet a nice, thoughtful guy (those are rare out here, but a dime a dozen in America) and get married and have a family (and women will actually SAY that out here!!!!!!). You get to choose the kindest and most attractive one out of the many who are interested in you and do just that. Make friends, get involved in the community, learn the language, be patient and persistent, enjoy your life, and don't look back.

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 7:Long distance relationships, which almost never work beyond the first 2 weeks in the states, are totally common here! Why? Because women are commitment minded and family oriented here. Accountability, commitment, and monogamy are ingrained in their psyche. On that note, you will be AMAZED at what is possible out here that would blow up in your face in the states. Anything sane and healthy and well intended that does not function or backfires in the states is totally normal and flowing here. Milk and honey is not in the US, it is flowing freely in other places that I will not mention because I am too selfish and greedy and I want it all for myself. Go out and find your own milk and honey like I am doing. Push the boundaries of what is feasible, you are entering into a whole different reality out here.

TRUTH BOMB NUMBER 8: A lot of expat guys seem to be about playing, chasing as many woman as possible, having as much sex as possible, hooking up a lot, etc... I say drop that awful stuff from your lives and drop it from this website! It is giving this website a bad name, giving all men who look abroad for relationships a bad name, and giving expats a bad name. Be in this for something good, or stay home and masturbate yourself. By using and hurting women, you are just making it harder for those of us who are out here to get married and live a good life, something that has become sooooo hard to do in America.

I say drop all such stuff and links and content it from this website! That kind of garbage is the reason I never signed up here 3+ years ago when I first discovered the site. With it the way it is now, the site attracts players and assholes and womanizers!!! All of the players will come, and the well intended guys will avoid it. This does a great disservice to the women out her,e the men like me who want to meet and marry one of them some day, and the website itself.

I just wanted to share what I have learned and I am just at the beginning of this journey. I don't have any more time for this site, I am living life now not asking other people how to live it. I suggest you all do the same.

Get your selves out of the US. Don't feel bad about the sorry condition of millions of American women who can not find a man because more and more of them have simply been forced to give up and look elsewhere. You spent 10 years or more trying to give them a chance, and believe me, you were probably giving and working 10X harder at it than these guys out here in the rest of the world ever have. You swam up stream and wasted your time there long enough. You'll be loved and appreciated out side of N America like you wouldn't imagine, just for being thoughtful and considerate of women. You'll be appreciated just for not having 2 or 3 girlfriends at the same time, something that is common for men to do out here, but would get you ostracized and blacklisted in any community in the states. You'll be appreciated just for caring about a woman's needs, or for caring if she has an orgasm in bed, things that men often do not give a shit about outside of the US. Your years of programing in the states, which is totally unnoticed and unappreciated by women there, will make you the nicest and most popular man alive in any city that you go to outside of the US, and believe me , out here, that kindness and thoughtfulness and respect counts a lot and take you far in life out here. Yes, women have priced themselves out of the market in the US, and not just in regards to money, but in regards to matters of the spirit. There is no amount of kindness or thoughtfulness that is enough in the states. You'll still be a "loser" to most of them, and still not up to their standards, which have gone into outer space.


Some day, a kind-hearted, positive and well intended guy from the US will read this and he will think "Who is this angry, crazy bastard and what is his problem?" Well, I'll tell you who he is..... I founded and ran a non-profit in the US doing 100% volunteer work and connecting people in the community. I am into volunteering with kids, elderly, and for the environment, and I am very into climbing, mountaineering, yoga, dancing, guitar, and running/hiking. That means I am Athletic, with a very nice muscular build, fit, and happen to be good looking. I eat well, don't drink, smoke, or use drugs, and I do good things in my daily life. I am sincere and I do good and bear good fruit and yet I am still saying all of these things I have said here - That America is messed up when it comes to men and women connecting.

I want you, whoever the reader is, to do this because guess what: These women need nice men, the world needs children, and you deserve a NORMAL life.
That's why I am here (in Asia at the moment) and that is why I am writing this post. Get off your asses and do something for yourself and may God have grace and mercy for the American woman, who believe me, is finding harder now than we men are especially now that millions of American men are dating or marrying woman from other nations.

"The Real Housewives" Spectacle

Is it only me or is the series The Real Housewives Of.... a testament to the debased state of American women.  Granted, this is reality TV which can be sometimes less real than scripted TV, but the obviously real cattiness, competitiveness, backstabbing and aggression is a window into a growing reality (no pun intended).

This series follows several cliques of spoiled, over the hill, spendthrifts from Atlanta, New York, and California.  Each city series shows American women at their worst.  There is no wonder why young men want nothing to do with marriage anymore.

When I was growing up, the sign of a lady was refinement and grace, not masculine aggression.  That the casting people chose women in their thirties and forties was no accident.  These are the women most ruined by the feminism of the 70's and 80's, but their antics are becoming more and more mainstream.

I encourage the readers of this blog to view some of these programs for educational reasons.  It is very telling how these women spend their poor husbands money to soothe their aging egos.

More importantly, view the men and husbands in these programs.  They are broken and defeated.  Perhaps this is the biggest lesson the series offers. 

American Mensa Reject: Typical American Woman

Yesterday I was having an intelligent discussion with a very perceptive young lady from Europe. This young lady was confused when an American female acquaintance of hers stated that she does not know if she wants to settle down and have children even though she has a nice boyfriend. The American's rationale was, "I'm only 32 years old!"

My friend who is all of 20 years old, is correct to be perplexed as such feminist-inspired thinking. The American female is deluded into thinking that 32 is young; in fact 32 is over the hill as far as clear-thinking men are concerned.

It takes a trip out of the US to listen to how others view American foolishness. This 32 year old, who is slightly overweight and quite plain-looking, needs to do her future children a favor by choosing to not have them at all. I shudder at the thought of what kind of mother she would be with such a deluded mentality.

The Myth of the Independent American Woman

One of the most prevalent myths perpetuated by American women is that of the "independent woman."

In reality, American women, regardless of class and ethnicity, are greatly dependent on the resources of others. The route to female affluence in America is rarely due to their own financial accomplishments. Women usually ride the support train of their fathers, their husbands and their ex husbands. If we take a look at who financed the higher education of your average professional women, it is usually family and not self-financed. Then, when these high-achieving women decide to marry, they usually marry higher income men to further buttress their "declaration of independence" war chests.

Increasingly, these restless women initiate divorce when they feel enabled enough to cash out of the marriage and go it alone. Alimony and child support are enforced by the state to supplement the lifestyles of these women. Afterward, the women hold themselves up as independent when the path to their affluence was based on parasitic financial relationships with men; how ironic.

Feminism has made American women independent of the need for husbands, but their quasi-independence is predicated on wealth re-distribution of the family courts, and of the state entitlement systems.

American women are exploiters of male financial wherewithal. It starts in childhood and continues well into adulthood. What gets me is this delusion that they are self-made independent women when in fact they are leeches, spurred on by mass media and the consumption ethic of pop culture.

American men need to recognize this and protect the fruits of their labor accordingly.

New York Times Debate on Marriage: Join the Fray!

The New York Times is perhaps the most widely read news publication in the world. Recently they published an article and readers' debate entitled Husbands, Wives and Hard Times.

This is an opportunity for all who reject the advisability of marriage to voice your opinion on the men forgoing marriage and how it is a fraud on the American man and his well being. My contribution is as follows:

Marriage is slowly dying in America and the west. What is killing it? Feminism-infected courts that steal wealth from formerly unsuspecting men, rip children from fathers, and presume women are in the right even when they are in the wrong.

Women legally initiate the vast majority of divorces; I've seen figures as high as 60 to 70 percent of divorces being initiated by women.

I have stayed unmarried and I have a bevy of loving young women who I care about. Marriage is drudgery and a bore. The only people who advocate marriage are wealth seeking women and religious zealots.

If a man must marry, and he should not, he should choose a wife from a traditional culture where wifely duties and practices are held in high esteem and not denigrated.

To hell with American marriage!

Follow this link and add your two cents too.

The Marriage Strike Misnomer

Many in the men's rights movement have embraced the term "Marriage Strike" to describe American men's increased refusal to be duped into an arrangement that is socially, legally, and financially against their self-interests.

But the term is not a good one. A strike implies a refusal to work or perform for want of improved conditions. Implicit in the concept of strike is personal sacrifice on the part of the strikers who agree to do without the benefits of thing they are striking against. This is the fatal flaw of the term marriage strike.

American men are not sacrificing anything by forgoing marriage, although some think they are. To reject marriage is to insulate yourself from state-sponsored wealth transfer, lower standards of living due to higher expenses, and social emasculation due to women having more comparative power in a marriage.

Some cite the benefits of marriage to be companionship, sex, and the ability to raise children. All of these can be had as a bachelor, potentially in better quality. Marriage dooms you to an aging, waist-growing, individual female. Being unmarried permits you the freedom to seek sex and companionship from any woman you choose while having the resources to attract them.

I do concede that children ought to be raised with a mother and father present, but one can still do this in a live-in partnership arrangement without the oppressive collar of marriage around one's neck. Men can also choose to adopt or take in foster children if the feel the pangs of paternal instinct. So don't feel compelled to marry just because you want to have children.

Words have power, and the words marriage strike imply to women that wives are valuable when they are actually a detriment. It is better to calmly and passively proclaim that you choose to be a free, affluent, and happy real man unfazed by the beneficial marriage myth.

Why Do Married Men Try To Bamboozle Bachelors Into Marrying?

Why is it that married guys always try to convince us of why it's so great to be married? None of them can muster any persuasive specifics as to why it's so great, but they just seem to say so out of social programming. I pressed one of my married attorney friends on why it's so great, and he finally came up with, "Being married keeps me out of trouble, single guys get into trouble." I thought it was horrible that that's all he could come up with.

My theory is that married guys are like the fools who fall for the multi-level marketing schemes. Those schemes depend on recruiting new members, but only a precious few are successful participants. Most participants will break their necks to try to convince you to go to a new participant seminar. When they hear a "no," it just illustrates their own foolish decision. The eventual sucker that agrees to be a new participant validates the decision of the former, even though it was a bad one.

Married guys are like that too. To admit that marriage is a bore and a financial drain is too painful and too hurtful to acknowledge, so they come at you with how great it is to be married but are never able to articulate exactly why.

I think it was Fred Reed who said that any young man contemplating marriage should be made to spend 15 minutes in an empty room imagining his future wife 10 years older and 20 pounds heavier. If he still wishes to get married after that image, he should marry.

Fred Reed is right. Women are only temporarily beautiful. Marriage is the universal scam that baits the man into legal obligation to the woman, then switches with aging and the diminishing of female beauty. Married men struggle to come to terms with why they made the marriage decision based on the lunacy of short term attraction.

Just as children tend to lose interest in the little cute puppy dogs when they get older, so do men when their "oh so wonderful" sweetie-pies age less than gracefully.

Married men, if you are so "happy" being married, leave us independent men alone so we can pursue our interests as we darn well please. A rich man never has to convince another to become rich because the value of being rich is self-evident.

How the Marriage Industry Undermines The American Marriage

Is marriage an outmoded concept too deeply-rooted in custom and tradition to abandon? More and more are beginning to subscribe to this point of view, yet few have the courage to admit it. The reasons are far more superficial than we might suspect.

It is common knowledge that the state of the modern marriage languishes in crisis. People of marrying age are pondering whether there is anything of lasting value to be gained from marriage. What has been traditionally considered a rite of passage to which all respectable people aspired, is increasingly being viewed with cynicism and apprehension. As recent as one generation ago, young people espoused (no pun intended) more healthy and realistic expectations from marriage. Often it was intertwined with one’s sense of duty to faith, family, and community. While esoteric pockets of that mentality do still exist, most are now likely to consider marriage something to be experienced until it is no longer enjoyable. What led to this socially corrosive perception? A virtual "marriage industrial complex" of contradictory interests figures prominently in the explanation.

The marriage industry encompasses the far-reaching interplay of marketing, pop- culture, and relaxed divorce laws. Specifically, it is the ubiquitous hodge-podge of bridal fashions, wedding consultants, event catering, venue rental, attorneys’ fees for pre-nuptial contracts, attorneys’ fees for divorce representation, the housing industry, etc. To make matters worse, mass media perpetuates the myth of forever marital bliss. The forces of this industry result in vicious cycles that powerfully induce individuals to marry only to pull them apart in the end. Often, the victims are so compelled by the marriage industry, they remain trapped where they repeat the same behavior again and again.

This seeds of this cyclic interplay are planted in childhood when impressionable, prepubescent children internalize the media fantasy of the huge wedding in an ultra-extravagant setting. Such ideas are reinforced with high school study of classic literature like that of Voltaire and Shakespeare, which are rife with clichés of living “happily ever after.”

Prom season marks the next significant industry milestone. Proms, among other things, serve as virtual dress rehearsals of a formal wedding event and they play a huge role in a young girl’s gauging of her desirability to the opposite sex. To not be asked to a prom can be viewed as an antecedent to spinsterhood. Though such notions are absurd, the pressures they create are surprisingly pervasive.

When the early twenties come around, the influence of peers walking down the isle takes hold. All of the sudden, young people feel the need to “keep up with the Jones’s” in regard to their personal lives. Consequently, premature marriage is a common occurrence in this age group. That the twenties is still a formative time for personal growth and discovery is seldom reason enough to resist the social pressure to tie the knot at that life juncture.

Inevitably, engaged couples experience varying degrees of cold feet, uncertainty, and fear about their engagements, but this is offset by family members and friends heaping congratulations, praise and words of encouragement. Engagement events, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and even wedding preparation get-togethers all reinforce the pressures to marry without critical reflection. To opt not marry after the engagement, would be to let down all those who harbored such high hopes. In the end, all the special attention obfuscates any pre-marital misgivings, and it gives rise to the belief that marrying must be the right thing to do.

The actual wedding ritual gives official family, community and often religious sanction to the coupling. Ornate ceremonies followed by festive eating, drinking, dancing top-off months of preparation and anticipation. However, after the wedding event ends, there sets in a sudden dose of reality. All of the family and friends depart and few seem to particularly care that you are a now a wedded couple. Many newlyweds maturely handle their new reality, but for others, the abrupt end to the excitement of pre-wedding life contributes to an emotional letdown.

Clearly, our society celebrates the concepts of courtship and wedding at the expense of actual marriage. How then do we counter this trend? We certainly can’t expect changes to come from the marriage industry which profits from this duplicity. But we can expect families, schools, religious institutions, and the media to focus attention less on the bliss of pre-marriage life and to prepare couples for the practical likelihoods of post-marriage life. If this were to occur, at least two things would likely come about. First, fewer might succumb to the compulsion to enter into poorly-conceived marriages. Second, those who still chose to take on the challenge of marriage might be able to expect and be better prepared for the trials and difficulties inherent to married life.

How "The American Dream" dupes men out of wealth

A professor in law school once said that females control more personal wealth than males. I thought he was crazy, but he explained that since women outlive men, they inherit male money when men are at their richest. He's right.

This got me to thinking, since American women statistically initiate divorce more than men, and since most divorces are based in money issues, I theorize that young women marry then divorce men to get at their wealth. I don't think women consciously plan it that way, but that's obviously the effect sanctioned by our culture and our laws.

I also remember having a discussion with two random girls back in college. The subject came up about prenuptial agreements, when I stated that I would have one if I ever got married, these two girls went high and to the right. It went from a civil discussion, to a loud, accusatory discussion. In later years, I realized that these girls knew that access to male wealth was the real agenda behind American marriage, not love and family.

The "American Dream" is but a perpetuated myth serving as a means to dupe men into ceding wealth to females. Realize this and protect yourselves accordingly.