Americans Are Socially Disconnected From Each Other

"The Real Housewives" Spectacle

Is it only me or is the series The Real Housewives Of.... a testament to the debased state of American women.  Granted, this is reality TV which can be sometimes less real than scripted TV, but the obviously real cattiness, competitiveness, backstabbing and aggression is a window into a growing reality (no pun intended).

This series follows several cliques of spoiled, over the hill, spendthrifts from Atlanta, New York, and California.  Each city series shows American women at their worst.  There is no wonder why young men want nothing to do with marriage anymore.

When I was growing up, the sign of a lady was refinement and grace, not masculine aggression.  That the casting people chose women in their thirties and forties was no accident.  These are the women most ruined by the feminism of the 70's and 80's, but their antics are becoming more and more mainstream.

I encourage the readers of this blog to view some of these programs for educational reasons.  It is very telling how these women spend their poor husbands money to soothe their aging egos.

More importantly, view the men and husbands in these programs.  They are broken and defeated.  Perhaps this is the biggest lesson the series offers. 

An American Celebrates Life....In Romania

I was born in Los Angeles and lived the typical southern California suburban life of isolation. Being a child from divorced parents, I learned early on what America meant. Something always bothered me about the society in which I lived and where as when I was younger I couldn't quite define it, as I grew older it became more and more clear that modern American Society had an overlaying artificialness to it. I got the impression that I was living in some kind of experiment and that everything was temporary in nature and not intended to be lasting like the civilizations of the past.

I remember how I loved to watch Little House on the Prairie and feeling such an attraction to that family. I wondered why it was so different from what were claimed to be families all around me. Almost all kids at school came from divorced families and many were also victims of abuse. It seemed that most women with which I came into contact with growing up in America were hostile and belligerent and Southern California was probably the capital of alternative lifestyles and divorce and the traditional family life was viewed as the enemy. My only contact with traditional family values as a child growing up in America was again, Little House on the Prairie.

Observing these traits in society, I naturally began to associate America with them. America to me meant, divorce, abuse, fighting, neglect and above all, isolation. In fact, as I got older, I came to notice that the situation was more like a lack of society rather than a bad society. What do I mean? Well, first of all, there was no contact between people. There was no walking in the streets and no open markets and stores. People simply entered their cars from the garage attached to their house, opened the garage door and drove to the store or work and never came into contact with another human being. Where was society? What is the definition of society? I detected something very wrong with America and the endless uniformity and dullness of Southern Californian suburbs seemed to be the chief example of this fact. No matter how many times we visited the same grocery store, the employees there never would recognize us. Years would go by without a single word being exchange with a neighbor. My female teachers hated my mother. Even my cub scout troop was dissolved because one of the mothers sued after a fall in the snow on our first field trip. Every little girl who lived on my street was sexually abused and their stories horrified me. Between experiencing these things I also got to enjoy the constant fighting between my parents over child support checks and who's turn it was keep me on the week end. O how I longed for Little House on the Prairie where everybody worked together, went to church together and helped and supported each other through hardships, harvests and barn raising. This was the America I thought must have been just an invented myth.

Due to my mother's line of work, I was exposed to many emigrants from a wide variety of places such as Iran, Turkey, Armenia, Poland, Romania, Croatia, Argentina, Vietnam and India. There was something special about these people and I noticed it even as a child. What was it about them that attracted me? Why did they seem to be so content and hardworking? They seemed to benefit from a force or energy that I could see was totally lacking in the society in which I lived. What was it? The answer was FAMILY in the traditional sense. Though they were living in America like me, they had transferred their sense of family and society from their country and were still enjoying the benefits while being surrounded by the social misery. Somehow they lived unscathed in pockets of healthy family lives they themselves emitted. For me, happiness was being around these people and I would enjoy pretending that I was a part of their family as well. I would learn everything I could about their countries, cultures and foods and they would be so pleased to see my interest. The highlight of my childhood was when my mother would be invited to one of their homes for one of their holidays and I'd get to bask in the light of family life such as being seated at the dinner table together and listening to people actually talking to each other relating stories and experiences of the old country. I could see that the hardships and poverty they went through actually strengthened them and was the source of their great work ethic and family values.

I remember one girl from Romania who worked with my mother. She had swam across the Danube to escape from communism and tyranny and somehow made it to America. She came with just the shirt on her back and immediately started working with house cleaning and taking night classes in English. Her strong faith in God and her exceptional morals and ethics allowed her to flourish and reap the benefit of the opportunities in America. The same opportunities that Americans seemed to be unable to benefit from. Could a lack of traditional family values and morals be a factor? Why was it that emigrants always seemed to find success while native born Americans drowned in debt and misery?

She worked hard and worked her way up to becoming a manager. Eventually she got a degree and opened her own business. Only after years of work and after the fall of communism did she go back to Romania and get married to a Romanian man then returned.

Seeing her wonderful value as a beautiful, feminine and traditional women, I fell in love with Romania and wanted to get to know as much as possible about this country. Something about modern American women repulsed me and I absolutely refused to have a girlfriend or anything to do with them while in high school. Based on my experience as child growing up in America, I could not separate divorce with the American women. The two things seemed to go hand in hand. I remember making the concrete decision as a teenager that I would never marry a girl from a divorced family and that I had to marry a foreign girl no matter what. I started corresponding with girls as pen pals from Romania, Bulgaria, Lithuania and Russia. There were no proms, dances or parties for me. I was attracted to everything that was traditional, religious and moral. Though it was sometimes lonely, I knew I was holding out for something of value and meaning. One girl in Romania particularly caught my attention by her femininity, shyness and goodness and we wrote to each other for two years. After two years of junior college, I decided to go to Romania to meet her in person and she was everything I imagined. We were married after spending six months as a guest of her family. I was 20 and she was 18 and we were both virgins. Sixteen years later, we're still married and have a beautiful family.

We did eventually come back to America where she, independently of my own opinion, noticed the same flaws in American society as I. She didn't like it and couldn't quite adjust to it. Living several years in California refusing to go into debt and fall into the "American Trap", we lived very simply but never flourished. As I grew in knowledge and understanding, I could see the writing on the wall that the American system was not sustainable. I could see that economic collapse was inevitable and soon all the debt, credit cards, stock market casinos, leases, and housing speculation would all come crashing down. The wars pretty much sealed the fate of America and I knew that we could not continue to be a part of it and incur the consequences of a system we never supported. I did not want my children growing up in such a system nor did I want them to reap what American foreign policy would shortly bring to the homeland. I could just sense that something dark was coming and on August 11, 2001 we moved to Romania.

We bought a beautiful apartment in downtown Bucharest for $19,000, bought a used car for $300 and a fertile piece of land with a peasant house fifty kilometers outside of Bucharest for $15,000 and now live completely debt free. How many Americans live debt free? The taxes on our house is about $30!! In the city we live in a normal urban setting where there is contact with other people in the streets, the markets and the people in stores know us personally and greet us. We're on friendly terms with our neighbors and visit each other. We have very efficient public transportation in the form of subways, trams and buses. We have our children's school right next door and have one of the biggest public parks and youth centers within walking distance. The Christian religion is taught in the public schools and our children are taken to church for communion. A priest comes to teach them about morals and ethics. There is even a civics class where the children learn the value of honesty, altruism, helping the needy, forgiveness and overall good social ethics. I can detect no dark or perverse agendas being forced on our children and being an American, I logically would be a good judge of this.

On the land we have in the country; together with my wife's family, we grow all our own food. We have fruit trees, grape vines and a yearly garden that provides all the family's needs through the winter. Making preserves in jars basically makes us independent. Having chickens provides us with a steady supply of natural eggs as well. The country house has its own deep well and so its independent of municipal water and the heating is wood burning. It's a great satisfaction for a product of an American suburb like myself to have gone back to a natural lifestyle with an intimate relationship with nature and the traditional way of life. Most of the villagers still go around with horse drawn wagons so in a way, I did eventually find my very own "Little House in the Prairie".

In closing, I'd like to encourage any Americans who are not satisfied with the society they live in to take the necessary courage and try moving to a place where they can find a simpler, more natural way of living, free of debt and free from the consequences of a diabolical foreign policy and a collapsing economy. It doesn't cost as much as you might think and it all starts with a dream. Hold your ideal in your mind at all times and eventually you will manifest this ideal in your own life. Never accept anything that does not reflect your ideal and it will never touch you. There is no utopia and every place has its own unique problems but never underestimate the power of your own ideas and dreams. The Kingdom is within you and you can live it in the place of your choosing. Spiritually speaking, we're all citizens of that Kingdom and we're all linked together in this shared principle of family, morals, Love, Truth and goodness. Simplicity is the key and the simpler you live your life, the more you will enjoy it. If you don't fear evil, you render it powerless against you and it disappears as darkness disappears when you turn on the light switch. Cultivate your spirituality and your ideal and you will find your very own promised land; your very own "Little House on the Prairie" no matter what you've been through. Now go find it!!

This piece is from the website SaveTheMales.ca

What the Tiger Woods Debacle Shows Us.

With all the media coverage of the Tiger Woods infidelity saga, one can only wonder why the most important aspect is ignored.

It is a forgone conclusion that Tiger was attacked in anger by his wife, Elin. When that fact is acknowledged (and it usually isn't), there is a denial of seriousness since the female attacked the male.

Saturday Night Live aired a skit depicting "Elin" wielding a golf club while intimidating Tiger with the threat of further violence.

Had the shoe been on the other foot, Tiger would be public enemy number one, there would be demands for his arrest, and he would be the recipient of death threats. But since the female is the aggressor, feminists and women play down the significance of the violence and they cackle with glee at the female putting the male in his place.

This double standard is particularly troublesome in the aftermath of the Rihanna incident. In it, Rihanna, the R&B singer goaded her former boyfriend and fellow R&B singer Chris Brown into a tussle where she ended up with a fat lib and bruises. Chris Brown's career is on life support, and Rihanna is being hailed as some courageous survivor even when she was the party that initiated the violence.

I can only hope that clear-thinking men and women can see the hypocrisy being displayed by our media and by feminists. Until female on male domestic violence is viewed with the same gravity as male on female, I think that all of us should dismiss the Rihanna episodes as insignificant.

Finally, Tiger Woods clearly does not love his wife if the allegations of infidelity are true. Elin is a former nanny who he ushered into a world of privilege. Her ice princess manner, and her violence towards him get a free pass in this society. So I say, dump your witch of a wife Tiger and continue to do what you need to do to find love and peace.

The "Ego Epidemic" of Modern Western Women

Us women are more egocentric and narcissistic than we ever used to be, according to extensive research by two leading psychologists.

More of us have huge expectations of ourselves, our lives and everyone in them. We think the universe resolves around us, with a deluded sense of our own fabulousness, and believe we are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than we actually are.

We have trouble accepting criticism and extending empathy because we are so preoccupied with ourselves.

Am I making you angry by telling you this? It figures. Narcissistic or egotistical women do have an overwhelming sense of entitlement and arrogance.

Of course, I joke, but researchers say there is growing evidence of an epidemic of ego-itis everywhere.

Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are 'special'.

Psychology professors Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell analysed studies on 37,000 college students in 2006.

In a survey, 30 per cent of them said they believed they should get good grades simply for turning up.

And it's not just about how intelligent they think they are. In the workplace, in friendships, even in motherhood, the pervading culture seems to have become one of competitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship.

But the sphere in which the signs of self-obsession are perhaps most obvious, and the consequences most immediately felt, is the dating one.

In a recent magazine article, four women in their late 20s and 30s shared their thoughts about why they were still single. A 39-year-old beauty director claimed to be too independent for a relationship.

A 38-year-old music agent attributed her single status to the fact she was an alpha female - independent, feisty, strong-minded, high-achieving and intimidating.

She pointed out that she owned a gorgeous flat with gorgeous things in it, had a nice car, was a member of a fancy gym and wore designer dresses. 'I do what I like, when I like,' she said.

She'd been told, and appears to believe, that she's too successful and too well-educated for most men.

The third woman, a 30-year- old arts writer and curator, has been having too much fun to settle down.

Another, a 29-year-old, said she was too picky. She was looking for a guy who is (just) tall enough. And (just about) good-looking enough (but not too good-looking so that she'd play second fiddle).

He needs to be successful, solvent and driven. He must also be long on genuinely good jokes, with a decent sideline in bad ones that only she finds funny.

He needs to 'speak good restaurant', to have no special dietary requirements and to always be discerning without ever being fussy.

He needs to be clever without ever making her feel stupid. He needs to 'get' but not 'know' fashion...and so the list went on.

She concluded that she would rather eat wasps than share her Sunday with anyone who fails to measure up to her idea of Mr Perfect.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with having high expectations. But being delusional and having a totally unrealistic blueprint are an altogether different matter.

And they often go hand in hand with acute ego-itis. As Margot Medhurt knows only too well.

She is the founder of Yours Sincerely, an Edinburgh-based personal dating and introduction agency for professionals. She has almost 30 years' experience in the industry and has noticed a significant rise in this phenomenon in recent years.

'It used to be that most women who joined a dating agency had a pretty good idea of where they stood in the eligibility stakes,' she said. 'But in the past few years, I've noticed that there are a significant number of women who don't.

'They tend to be in their 30s, and there is a wide discrepancy between how they perceive themselves and how others see them.

'They are often very plain, but see themselves as being absolutely fabulous, exceptional people.

'They invariably reject every guy's profile I send them. But if a guy rejects their profile, there is all hell to pay. There is disbelief. They are really saying: "I'm so fabulous. How dare he turn me down?"

'In the past few years, I've noticed a real sense of entitlement among this small group of women. The idea that a guy might not find them as amazing as they find themselves doesn't enter their head.

'They often become indignant and angry towards me, demanding to know why a guy dared to turn them down. Most people simply accept the facts of the dating game: some people will find you attractive and others won't, in the same way that you'll be drawn to some but not others.

'These women, however, are unable to get their heads around the fact that the rest of the world might not share the distorted, inflated view they have of themselves.'

She said she had a eureka moment when she read a recent article about the rise in narcissism among women.

According to the American research, there has been a 67 per cent increase in it over the past two decades, mainly among women.

An estimated ten per cent of the population suffers from narcissism as a full-blown personality disorder.

The symptoms include: a grandiose sense of self-importance; the belief that he or she is special or unique and in some way better - either intellectually or physically - than others; a requirement for excessive admiration; a sense of entitlement, whether to fame, fortune, success and happiness or simply to special treatment; enviousness of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her; an inability to empathise; an inability to admit a mistake; and haughty behaviour or attitude.

What researchers have also identified, and are far more worried about, is what has been described as 'normal' narcissism - a cultural shift that has seen even non-narcissistic people seduced by the emphasis on material wealth, physical appearance and celebrity worship.

The researchers believe our culture brings out narcissistic behaviour in almost all of us.

They blame the internet (where 'fame' is a click away), reality television (where the lure of fame without talent is most prevalent), easy credit (which enables people to buy far beyond their ability to pay), celebrity worship, our highly consumerist, competitive and individualistic society, and a generation of indulgent parents who have raised their children to think they're special, amazing and perfect.

According to Twenge, this focus on self-admiration has caused a cultural flight from reality to the land of grandiose fantasy.

We have phony rich people (who actually have massive mortgages and piles of debt), phony beauty (via plastic surgery), phony celebrities (via reality TV and YouTube), phony genius students (with grade inflation) and phony friends (with the social networking explosion).

'I had noticed this trend, but wasn't really sure what it was all about,' says Margaret Medhurt.

'However, when I read that article and thought about the unrealistic expectations and sense of entitlement among some of the women, it really struck a chord.

'One of the cases that brought it home to me involved a 38-year-old businesswoman.

'I knew there were going to be problems right away. As soon as someone joins the agency, we get things moving very quickly - but this wasn't quick enough for this woman.

'She wanted a date immediately. The first man I sent her profile to declined an introduction and she was extremely cross. She couldn't accept it and she couldn't even be polite about it.

'In three weeks, three men turned her down. I explained that it takes time to meet someone but she just got angrier and angrier. She was demanding to know why these guys did this. I was trying to get the balance right - between being honest with her and being tactful.

'I think, ultimately, she had a very flawed perception of herself. And she almost couldn't bear that it was being challenged. It was as if she couldn't deal with the fact that some guys didn't think she was amazing - and she left.'

Men, traditionally regarded as the more self-centred of the species and the rogues of the mating game, are left scratching their heads and pondering Freud's famous question: what do women want?

David Baxter (not his real name) is a 40-year-old management consultant. Previously married for nine years, he joined a dating agency in the summer.

He says he's not perfect, but is told he's an eligible and pleasant guy with a lot to offer.

'I've had three successive dates recently with ladies in the late 30s to early 40s age bracket that have left me dumbfounded,' he said.

'I've never come across such massive egos, such arrogance and lack of basic courtesy.

'It was as if these particular dates were a forum for them to tell me how exceptional they were. One told me repeatedly how many young guys at the gym asked her out; another was very artificial.

'You sensed that they absolutely worshipped themselves, though none of them was drop-dead gorgeous or had amazing personalities, jobs or anything else to set them apart and elevate themselves into some superior position.

'I also thought it was quite telling that none of them had ever been married, engaged or had recently - or perhaps ever - been in a long-term relationship.

'I got the feeling that these women were living in a Sex And The City-inspired fantasy world. I also sensed that nobody would ever be good enough for them.

'They seem to be looking for something that doesn't exist: Mr Perfect, or perhaps some larger-than-life, dashingly handsome and unattainable character such as that portrayed by Mr Big. Nothing else will do.'

Despite his recent experience, David still considers himself lucky.

'I'm still positive about the whole thing, but I have friends who are not so optimistic and it's evident that encounters with these sort of women seriously erode their self-confidence, which is a real shame. There are a lot of genuine, decent guys out there who are getting a rough deal.'

Neil Hay is a 32-year-old former professional golfer-turned-financial consultant who lives on the outskirts of Edinburgh.

After taking some time out following the death of his mother, he joined a dating agency almost a year ago.

'It's made me terribly cynical, not just about the way women are, but also about what on earth it is that they are looking for in a guy,' he said.

'Of course, we all have standards and preferences. There's nothing wrong with that. But most of us are also realistic. We know that Cheryl Cole is out of our league.

'I had been hoping to meet someone who was quite nice-looking, with a good personality, someone to go for dinner and to the cinema and have a decent conversation with. But I'm left feeling that this isn't what women are looking for.

'It's as if they want to be swept off their feet right from the first date, as if they're waiting for someone like Brad Pitt or George Clooney. They're not interested in a regular, normal, decent guy. That's not good enough for them.

'I spent three hours on a date with one woman. I thought we got on brilliantly, but then she said she didn't want to meet again.

'This has happened a few times. It makes me think that if you don't live up to their perfect fantasy, then that's it. It's game over before you've even had any chance to begin to get to know each other.

'It does dent your confidence. I'm left thinking either that there's something wrong with me or that I'll just never be whatever it is that these women are looking for.

'I know there are a lot of single women who say things like they're too independent, too feisty, too confident or too successful for men. Or they claim that men are intimidated by strong, intelligent and independent women.

'But this is simply not the case. I think they just tell themselves this. It's a way of rationalising things. It's as if it's easier for them to believe their own myths than to face reality - that they are completely ordinary.'This brilliant article was penned by Lucy Taylor, accessible with this link.

The Depraved American Woman

This week will mark my temporary return to the United States after six years abroad. I actually look forward to several things: seeing my family, tasting my favorite dining fare, PBS, and the anonymity of being on my home turf.

I do not, however, look forward to having to interact with the contemporary American woman. I will make nice when I am ordering at Starbucks, or when I am on a commuter train, or when I am forced to interact in any way shape or form. But my experiences with women in "Developing Europe" have unearthed a disturbing truth, that American women are my enemy. Sure there are a few nice, classy, and kind-hearted American women, but they, as a group, are a menace to the souls of good American men. Feminism has ruined them to the point where they cannot think logically, and they always primed to expect both deference and equality, (with equality actually being preference in practice.)

I will, however, enjoy how the recession is exposing American women for what they are, parasitic, materialistic bores who inevitably undergo metamorphosis into the worthless hags who proclaim that "50 is the new 30." Yeah right!

I do want to mention that I advocate no physical harm to American women (unless in the name of justified self defense), but I do wish American men would collectively wise up and consider how American women act against their interests.

"Some" Americans Abroad

Yesterday I had some American redneck approach me as if we are buddies. Apparently someone tipped him off that I too am an American.

What never ceases to amaze me overseas is that the same type of American who would have nothing to do with me in the US, suddenly behaves like a kindred spirit overseas. Not a chance! I don't gravitate toward rednecks in the states and I won't do it abroad. Sure, there is something to be said for seeing a fellow American in a faraway land. But don't come off like we are old buds when in the states we would consider each other a virtual menace.

Might I be a little harsh to a redneck's overture of friendliness? Perhaps, but consistency is a virtue that I respect. Furthermore, I have often sensed the underlying class tensions in my interactions with people of this ilk, friendly overtures notwithstanding.

So if you see me in another country. Don't come up to chat unless you would be inclined to do the same in the US!

Evidence of the Decline of My America

When things like this become mainstream, we are in big trouble......

What Is Behind the Meltdown of Asian American Men?

The Korean Virgina Tech gunman, the Filipino recently arrested by the FBI for racist death threats, and now, Jiverly Voong, opened fire on an Immigration Service Center in upstate NY. This is just the latest in a string of incidents where Asian men have unleashed murderous wrath on innocent people.

Let me begin by saying this is not an anti-Asian American rant. In fact, I acknowledge that the vast majority of Asian American men are hard-working, law-abiding, and upstanding citizens. But what is afoot here? I believe that some Asian men increasingly view this society as unjust and unfair to them who try to do all the right things.

Men's rights advocate, Winston Wu, is legendary for his diatribes against the social isolation to which American society relegates all but a few Asian men. They are expected to live up to unrealistic "positive" stereotypes, shunned by most America women as poorly endowed, and left on the sidelines unless they are needed for calculus advice or engineering services.

While none of the above justifies lashing out in violence, I believe the plight of Asian male isolation is at the root of this trend.

To my Asian brothers, the "American Dream" that your parents spoke so highly of is an illusion meant to dupe us into consumerism and wage slavery. The American women that reject you despite your years of hard work and upright living are not women as much as they are feminists. Do not resort to violence and suicide to air your grievances. Move abroad, remain unmarried, seek foreign women who would love you in ways and for reasons American women could never love you.

We all feel what you guys feel too, but violence will only serve to punish innocent people and vilify the legions of good men among you.

Constructively take charge of your life. Move abroad and free yourself of the delusion of America being the best that life has to offer.

America, Where Politeness Is Considered Weakness.

I'm currently visiting Australia, and I spend a considerable amount of time in Europe. What strikes me most when visiting other countries is how politeness is still of social value. Yes, all countries have their share of rude troglodytes, but America seems to take it to a new level.

I believe the media plays a role in this behavior. All one has to do is see Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Neil Cavuto, or some other rambunctious host cutting off his or her guests, shouting platitudes. And by no means is this an affliction of conservative types. Just watch Gloria Allred, Al Sharpton, or some other leftist in action.

One thing I like about Obama, and I don't like several things about him, is that he is a polite, polished and well-spoken American who is respect worthy. Maybe he can bring the concept of interpersonal civility back to the country that I love, but left.